Hope and Change, Eventually.

The holiday tree in Philadelphia this season…

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about 2010 – 2019. If you need a refresher check it out here. This post is likely to be short, and less of a look at anything I’ve done, or anything to do with the city. Instead it’s a look torwards the future, starting with 2020, and my thirtieth birthday.

For the past decade I’ve spent my life in a perpetual state of fear. I’ve spent it rejecting change and clinging desperately to things I’ve had, things I’ve cared about, and honestly stupid, petty things; resentments I’ve held for people I don’t even talk to anymore. It hasn’t been healthy and as a result my twenties while important and career building, have been stunted and not as good as they may have been for others. Starting with April of 2019 however I had change forceably thrust upon me, and at first it was nauseating (quite literally). But the changes didn’t stop there, over the course of the next 6 months life threw a lot at me, an interview, a new job, moving out of my parents place, living with two of my good friends, finding an apartment, and moving in to it. All of it left me feeling overwhelmed much of the time, mainly because while all of it was happening, internally I was trying to cling to vestiges of my past.

But, with 2020 creeping up on us, and the start of a new decade I’m left with a few feelings, many of which have felt strange and new. I’ve felt myself starting to let the past go, I slip back into old habits at times, but the changes have been too sweeping, and it’s impossible to cling any longer. Sometimes things need to go, to disappear to make room for the new. Those spaces allow us to build a foundation towards the future. Jobs change, homes change, relationships/friendships come and go, but all of it good or bad is essential to your future. Change is inevitable, and resisting it isn’t the answer. I see that now, the past year has changed me, changed me for what I believe to be for the better. I’ve grown, I’ve been forced out of my shell, I’ve lost the things that the old me clung so desperately to, and in return gained new perspective. I’ve learned to embrace the future and all it has to offer. I’ve learned that change however bad it may seem at the start, is ultimately good in the end.

As I look around this Holiday season, as I see all of the decorations, and the people; as I listen to the music, I don’t find myself looking back as I have in so many years past. I don’t find myself looking at what I don’t have, instead that emptiness has been replaced, it’s been replaced with a strange warm feeling, it’s been replaced with hope. Hope for the future, a desire to keep changing and keep moving forward. A desire to find my place in the world. 2020 and my thirtieth birthday, are going to be the start of a great decade. I know that now.

Happy Holidays my friends, my family, and whomever may be reading this. May you find your own hope this Holiday season, and may you find your place in the world this new decade.

Until next time…

Dave

Moderating a Manhattan Meetup.

Lunch in the Flatiron District with my Aunt

I know I’m a bit behind this week, it’s been a crazy couple of weeks now that i’m dealing with the move in to Sunnyside. Work has also kept me busy which doesn’t help honestly (not that I’m complaining about the job, I do love it). I haven’t had time to dive into my photography recently for the same reasons. I’ve been diving into trying to furnish my apartment, I need to buy a new bed frame, a new mattress, a new desk, a curio cabinet, curtains, and so much more. It’s proving to be a pricey undertaking thus far.

But I’ve digressed for long enough this week. It’s time to deal with the topic at hand, it’s pretty spot on so far. In the last two weeks I’ve taken on a new undertaking, the task of moderating a NYC Meetup Discord server. One of the things that i’d been worried about when it came to meeting new friends in Manhattan was the how of it? I have some existing friends in the area already but for the most part they’re all as busy as I am. When it comes to free time, they barely have the time to hangout with me, no less introduce me to new people. Here enters our lovely front page of the internet, Reddit. An unlikely tool in the task of making new friendships, it’s been a godsend, especially considering I recently gave up all social media (A post about all of that to come soon). It is actually what lead to me moderating this discord server. For the uninitiated, Reddit is a series of topic driven pages in this particular case we are talking about a subpage or a subreddit called nycmeetups. This Reddit group allows users to post meetup opportunities, or in this case a discord server.

This discord server now houses nearly 400 New Yorkers across the six different boroughs. It’s allowed people whom would otherwise never had the opportunity to chat, not only do that but plan meetups of an impromptu nature and physically meet up and hangout. So far, I’ve met up with some at bars, gone and played pool with others, and hit up the Queens Night Fair with another group. It allowed me to find people to attend the Gareth Emery show with in October, and has helped me find friends who enjoy hanging out with me when I want to hang out with them. It’s been a breath of fresh air, and being moderator adds a level of notoriety to go along with all of this. People know who I am before I even meet up with them because they’ve communicated with me to have channels made within the server, and I’ve had an overwhelming presence in chatting.

So, if you are like me, and you are wondering about the best ways to make friends in your new locale, whether that be New York City, Chicago or Austin my suggestion is make a Reddit account, and start finding the local meetup subreddits. If no one has made one, figure out how to start it! If no one has created a discord server, administrate one, help facilitate friendships, and you’ll end up with a plethora of your own. A mistake is better than indecision, and I can assure you putting yourself out there is not a mistake, the indecision on acting, that is.

A shorter post this week, but hopefully the message is clear, put yourself out there, and start making new friendships. It only hurts you to close yourself off to the world, be happy, and happiness will find you.

Hopefully I can get on a more regular schedule again next week, I’ll be taking a short respite from a strictly NYC topic to actually speak to the topic of hobbies, i’ll even be interviewing a close friend of mine for the post!

Until next time…

Dave